Hugging, Kissing, & Aging with Twain

 It will soon by my birthday, and as my husband is always reminding me, I'm halfway to 90. Gone are the days of counting down until you're a year older—as one does when you're reaching 16, or 18, or even 21. Now, as the days get closer, you start thinking about the years that have passed; the things you have learned and the things you wish you would have learned sooner. Nowadays, from what people say, it's easy to think that all life's lessons are taught in 30 second video clips on X or TikTok (get up early, work out, take personal time). But most of mine have arrived while playing board games with my kids, watching sun sets, recovering from mistakes, and waiting for my jars to come out of the canner—quiet moments when I took time to listen to the world around me. You Never Regret a Hug with Your Kids or Spouse The days I feel least like hugging them are usually the days they/I need it most. No matter the situation, just a quick hug seems to reset the day. The big problems seem to get smaller, when you're holding your most precious treasures. Lesson: A short hug often solves what hours of talking can’t. Remember to Kiss. Simple Wins. Always. In both farming and life, simplicity is always the best way. One of my favorite teachers at BMCC, used to always say “remember to KISS.” Keep It Simple Stupid. Complexity looks clever. Simplicity actually works. Lesson: If it feels too complicated, it probably won’t last. In December, 1905, 170 friends and writers gathered at Delmonico’s in Manhattan to celebrate 70-year-old Mark Twain’s birthday. But it wasn't the star-studded attendance that is remembered so much as the address Twain gave to his audience. “I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else. ” “We can't reach old age by another man's road,” he said. “Since forty I have been regular about going to bed and getting up—and that is one of the main things. I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn’t anybody left to sit up with; and I have made it a rule to get up when I had to.”  Of eating, Twain said, “For thirty years I have taken coffee and bread at eight in the morning, and no bite nor sup until seven thirty in the evening.” Of his cigar smoking, he declared: “I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.” As for exercise, Twain said: “I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.” Throughout his speech he'd make comments such as: “But let another person try my way, and see where he will come out.” or “This has resulted in an unswerving regularity of irregularity. It has saved me sound, but it would injure another person.” Towards the end of his speech, he again said: “I desire now to repeat and emphasize that maxim: We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.” Twain understood that aging, like life itself is an inexplicable combination of fortune, genes, and habit, and that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. The world is full of valuable lessons—but as I've contemplated my 45 years, I think Twain was right. One can never reach old age by another man's road—instead, always hug, kiss, and remember that your amazing life just may kill someone else.