The 5 Seasons

What do old leaf springs, new tires, a box of potatoes and 900 pounds of ice have in common? Why, our Annual Christmas Tree Decorating Party of course. This year's theme was 'The 5 seasons.' It's a Christmas party where Yule laugh a lot, and if you're lucky, Yule cry little—unless it's tears of laughter. Those are in no short supply—at least for me. It's my favorite party of the year. It's a Tree Decorating party, where there are no real decorations— or trees. That's why the first Rule of the competition is so important. “It must remind us of a Christmas tree.” The other 4 rules say it needs to be lit, it has to have ornaments and garland and it needs a star. The 5 teams waited while they received their cup of 20 beans that was to be used as currency in the auction, and looked dubiously at the piles of items that were to become “trees.” “Welcome to our Annual Tree decorating Competition—the party where sabotage isn't just encouraged—it's available for purchase through various auctions during the competition!” I hear some cheers and groans, and a few newcomers whispering “sabotages?” “Now without further adieu....lets take a look at our first tree up for auction. Our Big Spring Blowout tree!” My husband gestured to a pile of leaf springs, Jeep coil springs, new car tires, old dirt-bike tires, and pile of trampoline springs. “Spring sure has sprung around here! Nothing puts a little spring in your step like new tires and and old leaf springs. It will be fun to see how the winner of this “tree” puts a little Christmas magic into spring!” “Do I hear one bean?” The contestants were all wideeyed and shaking their heads, hoping for something better in the next stack of items. “Okay, we'll just move on to the summer vacation tree.” I moved closer to the rock wall with a box of harnesses, plastic tubes from the centers of baler wrap, and a stack of colored paper plates, plastic cups, packages of colored utensils and green table clothes. “What is summer without kids, hiking, and picnics? This tree has them all. Strap into a harness for a good time as you will create a tree that will soar to great heights. The tree and branches can be built on the ground, but all decorating must be done after you've climbed to the perfect picnic area!” I pointed to the top of the rock wall where a rope is hanging over the rafters waiting for their “tree” to be attached. The group of mostly teenagers shouted out “Three beans,” before I could even finish talking. Not one team counter-bid. “Going once. Twice. Sold!” Next up was the Autumn Tree. “Fall, the time of year when the wind blows the leaves off the trees....and sends your newspapers into the neighbors yard..... Hopefully you can keep them collected long enough to create the essence of a tree through the wind...and be thankful it isn't raining or snowing....yet....” I pointed to a tree that we had de-limbed earlier and fastened into a concrete stand. Above it hung a large shop fan and a stack of newspaper already blowing around. This tree must not have looked so intimidating, for soon it was bid and purchased and we moved on to the Winter Tree where two blocks of ice sat on a pallet. Each one weighing a little more than 450 lbs. “While winter fog rolls into the valley, and snow starts coming down, we always like to head to the tropics...where the only cold thing around is the ice centerpiece.... It's definitely beginning to look like Christmas around here.... There's a tree in that bucket of ice. I'm sure it'll look really nice. It's the sturdy kind—that doesn't mind the snow! Okay team, let’s coldly go where snowman has gone before!” “And that brings us to our last tree. Most of you probably only learned about the 4 seasons in kindergarten.... but the 5th season is the most important of all....it's the farming season. So jump on the tractor...and get your ground all prepped for a bumper crop of Christmas trees—or at least one! Happy irrigating!” In that pile of Tree-making items sat half a wheel line wheel, drip tape, drip hose, a box of broken sprinkler heads, some end plugs elbows and a bright yellow pair of irrigation bibbers. After each team had bid and paid for their pile of “trees,” they set to work building. But it wasn't going to be smooth sailing for them quite yet. Teams relentlessly bid on sabotages for the other teams. Want a team to stop work on their tree and... make origami ornaments? ...eat a lollipop? ...build and decorate a gingerbread train? ...do a little Santa limbo? ...act out Christmas charades? ...use a box of potatoes as ornaments? Sold! Or maybe you just want to watch them decorate their tree while holding a spoon in their mouth filled with popcorn kernels? But watch out. They may buy revenge. For the next hour, we watched and laughed, while more than 75 people (most of them strangers to each other) put their heads together to build trees and overcome sabotages. One lady summed it up nicely “How can a bunch of strangers meet for 5 minutes, and then become such an outrageously creative team together?” Our judges deemed the Spring Tree the grand winner. The Winter tree the team who put in the most effort, the Autumn Tree the most elegant, the Summer tree a hot mess, and the Irrigation tree a little muddy. We ended the party with a white elephant junk exchange— where old and dusty is encouraged. There were some doozies of gifts this year. Everything from a 55 gallon metal drum, to MREs, .22 bullets, a box of stuffed turkeys, and a book on poo. With all those elephants, it was amazing then, that my youngest actually scored a practically new pair of children's snowshoes! My husband and I collapsed into bed that night, happy, exhausted, and full of ideas for next year's sabotages!